Stuck in a rut with a pain in my gut

At the young age of 20, I feel as if I am stuck. Simply stuck. At an age when I should feel that anything is possible, I actually feel as if I have hit a plateau and I cannot move or shift from it. I feel as if there are so many situations in my life that I cannot change. But these are not situations that I can simply verbalize my discomfort with and, BOOM, they will change all for the better. I feel as if no matter how hard I try to "rise above the masses", I am still just stuck. I just want to go to the middle of the world and scream at the very top of my lungs, for all to hear, "I AM STUCK!!! I FEEL AS IF I HAVE NO WHERE TO GO! I FEEL AS IF MY LIFE IS AS GOOD AS IT CAN GET AND THAT SUCKS!!!"

No matter how much I try to convince myself that my life is not as good as it gets, I feel it to be true. I feel held back. I feel as if some who tell me they really want to help me and they genuinely care about me are genuinely lying. They are simply saying what they are supposed to say. They are simply saying what they think I want to hear. But when the water gets really hot and I'm drowning in it, they ask if I need help instead of just throwing in the lifesaver and yanking me out. Anybody who really knows me knows that I could be lying on the side of the road dying of thirst and hunger and if you ask me if I would like a McDonalds Value Meal, I will say, "No, I'm fine. Thank you." Now, if they were to throw the meal at me, of course I'd take it. Some people would call this too much pride, but I call it just being myself.

I don't feel that I have ever gotten anything in my life by asking. I feel that everything that I have gotten is because I earned it and/or I won a special place in somebody's heart and they felt it to be unnecessary to ask if I need assistance and just gave it to me.