Just to think and write....

I bet you are all thinking, "Good God! This girl has been posting like crazy lately!" Well, I'm going through a stage right now where I need some guidance and sometimes the only way I can find it is by expressing myself in actual writing or on my blog. So I would like to thank you for reading my posts and commenting on it if you have. I don't know if my blog gets 5 visitors a day or 500 visitors a day, but I do know that this is my escape and I love it.

Well, the reason for this post is because I have so much clogging my brain that I can't even think straight! As you all have read, I have been contemplating a future return to Miami next year and I cannot say that everyone I have told has understood and/or been happy about it. For example, my boyfriend is not too thrilled about the idea because he thinks it to be inconsiderate that I would never think to move closer to be with him. It is not that I don't want to be close to him or that I don't love him, because Lord knows I do, but sometimes the things a girl does is because she senses certain things that someone such as her boyfriend doesn't even consider.

My boyfriend is the man I plan on marrying and the man whose children I plan on bearing and I know I will spend the rest of my life with him. I also know for a fact that we will most likely live somewhere besides Miami because, well, we both like to experience different areas and locales. Now, I'm sure whenever he visits Miami he will absolutely love it and, hey, ya never know....he might want to end up there! But if I know I will marry him and spend my life with him, then I have to take advantage of some things right now. Those things are seeing my mother on a daily basis, spending as much time as possible with my nieces and nephews, lounging on the beach without a worry in the world, spending time with my friends who have been like family for me, and so very much more. I have lived in Virginia for the past 2 years and I feel that I have proven that I can be on my own and I can survive in a completely unfamiliar environment. But throughout those two years, without realizing it, I had missed out on so much. Now, it's nothing that is sooooooooo serious that there is no way to make it up, but I did go through so much because of it. My mother had a heartattack last year.....and I was here. My little nephew had open-brain surgery.....and while I was physically there for the surgery, I left 2 days after. My sister-in-law gave birth to my niece and after that, had many complications because of the birth....and I was here. Now, while I know they did not take it personally because they know that not only am I up here pursuing school, but I am also up here learning to really be on my own, it doesn't keep it from hurting.

I never said that my move back to Miami would be indefinite, but you never know what might happen. I can tell you this much, though....I need my strong dose of Miami again. I really do =)